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有关世界知名公司的英语描述和写作批改
 
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用英语谈论上百年历史的国际公司
 
使用英语谈论历史悠久的国际大公司        可口可乐Coca-cola、顽石咖啡Hard Rock Café、里维斯Levis和耐克Nike是公认的世界知名大型公司。在你迈开步伐走向国际化的时候,有没有遇上你的老外朋友跟你高谈阔论global business situation,而你在一旁只能听之任之,毫无主动发表观点的情形呢?如果有,那下文将为你提供关于上述四家公司的创业、发展和现状的丰富知识。
    [内容标签]:有关世界知名公司的英语描述和写作批改_成都英语口语培训网_外语森林工作室
 
*温馨备注:
        黑色字体为原文;蓝色部分为批注;绿色为建议的修改方式(颜色可能失效,请看括号里的详细说明即可)。
 
        coca-cola [每句话开头的第一个字母均要大写,下同。] founded in 1886 it [这里不需要用it,而founded in 1886应该是Coca-cola的定语,用逗号隔开即可---Coca-cola, founded in 1886, ] had a history of more than 100 years. Its main products are soft drinks and juice. I think the translators of advertising who worked for coca-cola were very professional, [此处最好使用连词而不使用逗号,可用as替换逗号] they creatively named coca-cola 可乐in chinese [Chinese第一个字母需要大写], it [这里it最好用which替换,构成定语从句,增加句子的紧凑感]  means “palatable” and “joyous”. The creative Chinese name made Chinese people were [made已经是谓语,不需要在非谓语部分出现were,因此要去掉were] curious about coca-cola, so they were willing to buy coca-cola and would like to [这里加上would like to,让阐述更符合事实] confirm how palatable the [去掉the更通顺] coca-cola was and what joyfulness they could get. Therefore, coca-cola became more and more popular and coca-cola became to be [coca-cola became to be跟前面高度重复不可取,修改为ranked] the most famous word in the world after "ok", maybe, after "bye", too.
 
        Hard rock cafe founded in 1971,it's [此处it’s用was替换] a restaurant, founded [founded跟前面的founded重复使用显得累赘,建议使用started替换] by two young Americans who lived in London, because the founders [用they代替the founders] didn't like English food, they founded
Hard Rock Cafe, [“他们建立了顽石咖啡”不必再次提起,直接说“顽石咖啡卖……”,跟后面的谓语搭配;去掉they founded] sell [sell要加s,主语是三人称单数] American food like hamburgers and so on. Actually I have no idea about the Hard Rock Cafe so I have to reach some information online. but you know, there is little information introducing Hard Rock Cafe, so I don't know why the founders choose [choose需要是过去时chose] rock & roll as the theme of hard rock café [去掉of hard rock café后意思仍然完整且更流畅紧凑], maybe they like rock & roll music. Either, [either一般不用在句首,这里可以使用moreover或what’s more] there is no information explaining why Hard Rock Café could be successful. So I guess the food that hard rock sells is much better than English food, but I think not only English food but also American food is much worse than [用no better than更能表达中国食物更好] Chinese food.
 
        Levi's was founded in 1873 and its main products are jeans and casual clothing. [在适当位置增添了was和and,让句子结构正确,更顺畅] we all know jeans are very popular this time [this time改为these days或nowadays; this time的意思是这次,而不是现在uo 或n00    ], especially young people like jeans very much, for example, me. But maybe few people know the first jeans were made for men looking for gold in California. why young people like jean, because it is sturdy and durable, [because跟前面的why不能搭配,可以改为Why young people like jeans is that they are sturdy and durable] and have become part of American culture, a kind of fashion.
 

        Nike [此处加个逗号,构成同位语] founder in 1968.its main products are [1968后面部分用produces替换,构成主谓] athletic shoes and sports clothing. Actually, I didn't know it was named for the Greek goddess of victory before but Nike is my favorite brand not only in [用during代替in更好] my school days, but also after I began to work because I like sports. Why Nike would be [请使用was,因为是即成的事实,would be只表示虚拟语气] successful, I think, was that the products of Nike are comfortable and fashionable, which is of good quality. Maybe there is another reason: sports become more and more import in our lives. [此段中相同句型搭配问题已经修正,没有再次标注。]

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3.词汇量包含学习者知道的单词个数和熟悉程度;后者更重要但往往被忽视。


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